


Sleeves

by The_Problematic_Blender



Series: "This is going to Hell in a hand basket real fast!" [6]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Cutting, Gen, Self-Harm, request
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-25
Updated: 2015-09-25
Packaged: 2018-04-23 08:17:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4869812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Problematic_Blender/pseuds/The_Problematic_Blender
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gavin likes his long sleeves. It's easy to hide in the clothing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sleeves

**Author's Note:**

> Warning, self harm trigger.
> 
> This was a request, so there. Done.

Gavin was awoken to the annoying buzzer of his alarm clock. Annoyed at the disturbance, he rolled over and slammed his hand on the button, making the alarm clock tip over and fall to the ground when he removed his hand. Great. His clock was probably broken now. Oh well, he probably should've changed it to his phone by now anyway.

Gavin pushed the covers off himself, gingerly getting up and checking his clock. Besides a few parts that got loose inside, his clock was fine. At least he wouldn't need to set up phone alarms. He then went to the bathroom.

Gavin hated the bathroom.

He looked at his reflection when he walked in, but not at his face, no, his look was casted downwards, to his arms. His eyes looked at the lines in his skin, ranging from faint scars to fresh cuts. As fresh as last morning.

Gavin drifted a hand down to the manual razor that sat on the bathroom counter. He prefered shaving with an electric razor, so anyone who would see this would find it odd, but to Gavin, it was as normal as brushing his teeth. Taking it in his hand, he ran a his thumb over the blade gently.

Three idiots. One stupid. Four total.

 _You deserve this._ His thoughts told him as he put the blade to his arm, in between his elbow and wrist, with practiced precision. He dug the blade into his skin, wincing at the sudden pain. _You deserve this. You deserve this. You deserve this._

"I deserve this."

He repeated this mantra for every cut he made, four fresh lines of blood in his skin. It hurt, but he didn't mind. The sharp pain had lessened into the dulled roar he was accustomed to. He looked at the face in the reflection. The man staring back at him held a tired and sorrowful expression. Gavin didn't take pity on him. "You deserve this."

Letting the blood clot from his latest action, he went to make breakfast. Settling for cereal, he ate in dark and silence. When he ate about half of the bowl, he poured the milk down the drain and threw away the soggy cereal. He ran a hand to his cuts, flinching slightly at the pain from the contact. Thankfully, the blood had dried to his arm, making an effective band aid. He cleaned off the excess blood at the kitchen sink, lest the blood may soak through his shirt.

Patting his arm dry, he went back to his bedroom and got dressed, choosing one of the many long sleeved shirts in his closet, a pair of jeans, and blue argyle socks. Looking with satisfaction for a brief moment, he grabbed his phone, wallet, and house key and put on his convers. Deeming himself fit (and then remembering he needed to brush his teeth and fix his hair, promptly doing so) he began his walk to the office.

Walking to the office wasn't that bad, it was only a mile or so away from Gavin's house. And the walks helped him be alone and think.

 _Michael and I need to record a Play Pals today. Gavin sighed. I'm going to bleed out from all the cuts I'll need to do. Good thing no one will miss anything._ A horn honked beside him, and Gavin yelped and turned to see Geoff in his car.

"I said I would pick you up, idiot." Geoff says with a smile. Gavin smiles too, despite the thoughts in his head. _Wow, way to mince it up, the day hasn't even started, bloody idiot_.

"Sorry, been a bit scattered." Gavin says, going around to sit in the passenger seat.

"What's going on in the wonderful world of Gavin?" Geoff asks, putting the car in drive once Gavin was buckled in.

"Nothing interesting."

"Oh really?" Gavin can here the 'I don't believe you' in his voice.

"Yep." Geoff doesn't continue, and neither does Gavin. The silence fills the car, Gavin noticing that the radio was off.

"You sure you're okay buddy?" Geoff asks, glancing at Gavin.

"Yeah, I'm fine Geoff." Gavin insists. Geoff mumbles something Gavin can't hear. The ride is short, thankfully, and Geoff doesn't get anything else in before they reached the office. Gavin was out of the car quickly, heading into the office before Geoff was even out if the car. By the time Geoff made it into the office, Gavin was loading up the Let's Play from yesterday. Geoff gave Gavin a worried look, but didn't say anything. Gavin pretended not to notice.

After a few hours of editing, Michael offered that they recorded Play Pals and then go to lunch. Gavin agreed, and Michael set up the capture while Gavin saved and rendered the video he had spent all morning on.

"Get over here Gavvers." Michael ordered, and Gavin brought his chair over to Michael's desk.

"What are we playing Michael?" Gavin asks, sitting down in his chair and scooting up.

"Christmas Shopping Simulator." Michael explains, loading up the game. "Clap sync for me, boi?"

"I got you boi!" Gavin exclaimed, clap syncing for the older man.

"Thanks boi." Michael said, the cheerful music starting. "Oh fuck this." He mumbled, going into settings and binding certain keys for Gavin. Gavin looked up from Michael's screen, catching Geoff off guard as he looked down. _Geoff really needs to mind his own damned business._ "So, uh, this is Play Pals, with Michael-"

"And Gavin!"

"That's right, and because it's all wintery and shit, we need to go shopping for Christmas presents, because we aren't fucking losers with candles."

"Yeah!"

That excitement had long since left the two after learning the controls and working on the missions.

"Fucking grab it, Gavin!"

"I can't reach the damn thing!"

"Well don't just sit there, idiot!"

"I can't exactly move!" At Gavin's words, Michael's aggression peaked, and he forcibly pushed down the W key. Gavin was caught off guard as he tried to jump and grab the item, but the man on the screen fell to the ground. Michael huffed angrily beside him.

"You stupid fucking idiot." Gavin flinched at Michael's words. "Dumbass."

Five.

They played in quiet while they tried again. It was probably going to get cut, but Gavin prefered the silence over Michael's words. Gavin felt Michael shift uncomfortably beside him, probably thinking he hurt the younger man. Michael didn't say anything. After they completed a few more missions, Michael decided to fuck with the physics.

"What the bloody hell is he doing?"

"He's fucking stuck in a cart!" Michael exclaimed, beginning to laugh. Their guy had one leg stuck in a shopping cart, making him look like he was humping the cart. It took a few tries to figure out how to free him, but when they did, they accidentally flung the cart into someone, sending them flying.

"What was that!?" Gavin squawked.

"Bye bitch!" Michael laughed, swinging the cart into another.

"This shouldn't be happening!" Gavin was in hysterics as Michael went to find the line for the bathroom and mow down people with the cart. "How have security not apprehended this man!?" Michael was laughing maniacally now.

"This is the greatest ever." He said after a person glitched into a wall, the physics going mental. "I call this a successful Play Pals."

"We didn't beat all the missions though!"

"Yeah, but some lady's ass is stuck in a wall, I think we can call it successful." Gavin didn't argue, knowing it will save him from a few cuts tomorrow. Michael quit the game and cut the capture while Gavin returned his chair to his desk and checked the render.

Error.

"Fuck!" Gavin muttered not too quietly, earning a look from Michael. Gavin didn't acknowledge it, resetting the render and stomping out of the room. He headed for the bathroom, locking the door behind him. Gavin was on autopilot, his moves quick and robotic. He pulled out his pocketknife, rolled up his sleeve, and dropped his knife on the counter.

_What the bloody hell were you thinking?_

_I wasn't._

_That part was evident, you're gonna cut over the render failing? That happens every day, and what happens when Michael comes looking for you?_

_He wouldn't._

_You're having lunch with him, you dope!_

Gavin sighed, pushing his sleeve down again and folding his pocketknife back up. _Don't fuck this up._ He slipped the knife back in his pocket and left the bathroom, deciding to use the excuse of getting a drink. He headed into the break room, opening the fridge and settling on a beer.

"There you are." Michael says from behind him. "I thought you went to cut down a tree with your fists or something."

"Ha ha." Gavin replied. "Just frustrated."

"We still getting lunch?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah." Gavin pulled himself out of the fridge, but his sleeve got caught on something. "Oh, come off it!" He tried to pull his sleeve off, but it was in vain.

Michael chuckles. "I got you boi." Michael leaned in and took Gavin's arm, maneuvering it up and off the latch he was caught on. Once Gavin was free, he pulled his arm away and yanked his sleeve to his wrist.

"Thanks boi." Gavin said with a forced smile, "Feels like the world is against me today.

"That sucks, maybe lunch would make it better."

The render had failed once again, noticed when the two came back from lunch. Turns out his program needed an update but didn't want to tell Gavin that it needed one. After waiting an hour, and another two for rendering, he worked on a Cloudberry Kingdom Lets Play. Gavin was offered rides, but he didn't accept, saying he wanted to finish the video. Soon, everyone had gone home, and Gavin was left in the quiet.

By the time Gavin saved and began to render, his eyes glanced at the time.

11:27 PM.

Gavin looked in shock, Cloudberry Let's Plays took a while, and he split it up into two parts, but this was ridiculous. He stood up and stretched, going out to check if anyone was left in the building. A ten minute search in darkness proved false, and he returned to his computer. This render could take a while, and he didn't want to leave his computer up and risk an error, let alone walk home in the dark.

So, he could sleep at the office. That was actually a common thing to happen. But he wouldn't be able to cut in the morning, so he'll have to do it now. Pulling out his pocketknife, he sat down on the couch and got to work.

~

Michael wasn't one to come in early, but Geoff had superglued his controller to the desk, and Michael wasn't about to let that go. He had printed out a lot of pictures of Geoff and planned on taping them all to his desk. He even printed out little Geoff faces to put on his keyboard. He was going to have to thank Tumblr for having blogs dedicated to Geoff's expressions.

He headed for the Achievement Hunter office, 200 pages in tow, he opened the door and was surprised to see the lights on. "Fucking turn off the lights when you leave." Michael muttered to the person who left it on, setting the papers on his desk. He turned to get some tape and jumped when he saw Gavin, passed out on the couch. He must of stayed too late. Curious, he went over to Gavin's desk and shook the mouse, the screen coming to life.

Render complete.

That made sense. The idiot, taking on more work than needed. He shook his head and chuckled, deciding on waking up Gavin, hell, maybe he could help film the prank. He walked over to the couch, noticing Gavin's sleeve slightly rolled up, which was a shock considering how he was acting yesterday. Yet again, curiosity got the best of him, and he carefully pulled up his sleeve, and immediately regretted it.

Cuts and scars dappled Gavin's arm, confirming what he thought he saw in the break room yesterday. When Gavin's sleeve got caught, Michael thought he saw red marks on the younger man, but nothing like this. Michael's heart broke even more when some cuts looked new. Gavin was cutting, Jesus fucking Christ, how could he not of noticed?

"Gavin, wake up." Michael said firmly, shaking the Lad awake. Gavin open his eyes for the older man, taking a moment to get over the initial shock of being woken up.

"Hm?"

"What's going on with you?"

"What do you mean?" Michael put his hands on Gavin's arms and watch the younger man pale. He tried to pull his arms away and straighten the sleeves, but Michael had a firm grip on Gavin.

"Gavin, you can't run from this, please, tell me what's going on." Michael pleaded to the younger man. Gavin looked like he was going to cry, and the look was probably reciprocated on Michael's face.

"I'm sorry Michael-"

"Gav." Michael cut off. "What is going on?"

"I'm an idiot, you know that, you all know that."

"Gavin, what are you talking about?"

"I'm an idiot, I'm stupid, and dumb, and-"

"You're not an idiot!"

"Yes I am! It's true and you all know it!" Gavin exclaimed angrily. It took Michael to figure out what Gavin was talking about, but when it clicked, Michael was horrified.

"Are... are you doing this... because of us?" Michael asked. Gavin didn't say anything, but the silence spoke volumes. "Gavin, we may call you an idiot, but we love you. We all care about you, and to think that you're hurting yourself..."

"I'm sorry Michael!" Gavin sobbed out, and Michael let's go of Gavin's wrists, taking him into a hug. Gavin cried into Michael's shoulder.

"Okay, this is what we are going to do. We are gonna bandage your arms, then we are going to tape Geoff's face all over his desk- it's a prank -and then when Geoff comes in we are going to tell him what happened, okay?" Gavin nodded into his shoulder. "Hey, I care about you. We all do."

"I know." Gavin mumbled. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. You should've told us though." Michael says. Gavin nods and repeats his apology. "Let's go find the first aid kit." Michael took Gavin's hand when they unwrapped each other, leading him to one of the many first aid kits and bandaging his arms. When he was done, Gavin tugged down his sleeves, self-conscious. It reminded Michael of a shy child, Gavin now thumbing the edge of his sleeve.

"You want to help me prank Geoff?" Michael asks, a wicked smile on his face. Gavin gave a small smile in return. "I'll take that as a yes."

The two worked fast, Gavin taping the full pictures to Geoff's desk while Michael carefully cut out the smaller ones. They set up two cameras, one watching Geoff's desk while the other one was on Michael's cutting, often filled with sarcastic comments about how interesting it was. Ryan came in when they were almost done, gave a look at Michael and Gavin, then at Geoff's desk, then loudly exclaimed "I'm not apart of this!"

They managed to finish before anyone else came in, and they sat nonchalantly at their desks, working. Geoff came in about ten minutes after.

"Aw, what the fuck?" Geoff asked, upset. Michael snickered. "Did you cover my desk in... pictures for me?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Michael said firmly.

"Oh really?"

"Yep."

"Look at my desk. Look at my fucking desk." Geoff practically growled.

"Looks fine."

"Jack!" Geoff practically whined to the man that just walked in. "Look what they did!" Jack bursted into laughter as Geoff scowled. “You fucking put it on my controller too!”

“I didn’t do it, but if I did, I put clear nail polish over it so you can’t peel the faces off.” Michael says, earning laughs.

“You little fuck!” Geoff exclaims, the room already absurdly loud for this early. He turned to Ryan. "Were you apart of this?"

"Absolutely not." Ryan answered. "I am a passive bystander to this."

"Uh huh, sure."

"It's true!"

"To be fair," Michael interrupted. "He did come in and yelled that he wasn't apart of this." Geoff huffed and turned to Michael.

"I will get you back."

"Fine by me." Michael smugly smiled, crossing his arms. Work continued after that, but Michael saw that Gavin was shifting in his seat, pulling on his sleeves. They still needed to tell Geoff, but at a different time. They got their best chance towards the end of the day, when Ryan and Jack went home. The room was filled with silence and clicking of the keyboard. Gavin threw a glance to Michael, Michael nodded, and Gavin sighed.

"Uh... Geoff?" Gavin asked. "Can I talk to you?"

"Yeah, what's up buddy?" Gavin looked at Michael, who just returned the stare.

"There's, uh, something that has been happening for a while." Geoff's look turned from curious to concerned. Gavin continued to nervously tug at his sleeve. "I'm an idiot, and I'm-"

"Gavin." Michael cut off, and Gavin silenced his self hate, looking at Michael pleadingly. "Gavin has been... cutting."

"What?" Geoff asked, moving his chair closer to the two. "Why?" Gavin looked down, ashamed of himself.

"I don't know... I felt bad and upset... and I..." Gavin let out a choked sound, using his hands to cover his face. Geoff looked at Michael for answers.

"He cuts when we call him an idiot, among other things." Michael explained, having learned this information at Lunch. Geoff looked devastated.

"Gavin..." Geoff said, taking Gavin out his chair and on Geoff's lap, the younger man clinging to Geoff. "You are not an idiot. You are the smartest person I know. You are smart, and talented, and funny, and a hard worker. We care about you." Gavin was bawling into Geoff's shirt, Geoff holding him close. "It's going to be okay, Gavin."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry."

"It's going to be okay."

**Author's Note:**

> Slap that Kudos button, it called your mother fat!
> 
> Comment, I always respond!


End file.
